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Dead Eyed Boys

I collect them dead eyed boys,
Them ones whose words are all just noise;
Them boys all gloss & spite & shine,
Them boys whose hearts just won’t be mine.
‘Cause I know all them dead eyed woes,
Them dead ends where forever goes;
The dead eyed boys that I collect
Think I’m the weak one they select;
Oh pretty, flitty dead eyed boys
The truth’s a lie wrapped up in choice.
My heart was buried years ago,
Pain’s all the kiss I’ll ever know;
So bat your eyes my wild new pet
& I’ll pretend that I forget
The first dead eyes I ever saw
That left me always wanting more;
We’ll act as though this could be real
& I’ll reach inside to try & feel
& when it ends and you fall short,
& I don’t fall just as you thought
I’ll wish you well & move along
My pretty boys all dead & strong;
My dead eyed boys I need you so;
To let me in & let me go.

summer

This blue sky it kisses me soft as a memory
Warms these driftwood bones
Like a lover might have once
Upon a heart ago,
A once more in the dark ago;
A pray for a new start ago,
The sun knows all I ever did
& ever will
Or ever might
She whispers on those summer days
That time is a trick not a lie
Don’t fall for it.
The world is already dead
We are warmed by it’s pyre.

Fire

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My face burns

with the memory of your rejection;

& then I look up,

the sky is on fire,

& I think,

I’m a survivor of all that’s ever happened

today

this week

this year

all my years

yes even those;

I’m the result of survivors

a whole legion of them;

fighters every one,

right from day dot

on this planet;

before it was a speck

in this galaxy;

a thought

in the universe;

& this is my reward.

I earned it

& I’m going to earn more

with or without you

I’m gonna be fine;

the sky is on fire

& so am I.

 

Hunting Rapture

Blitz

Hunting Rapture

Rapture remains elusive, and Natalia shakes off the disappointment; she is still earthbound in the aftermath. Warm in body and cold in heart. Natalia waits till he falls asleep, then quietly departs, before the sun rises and his body is too tempting to leave in the dark. She pockets the cash from the side, and ignores the doorman as she exits the polished foyer. Her heels rat tat tat on the cobbles of the private cul de sac and she squeezes her coat tighter about her, fat snow flakes starting to fall. Somewhere a siren wails, and her eyes scan the skies. It smells like burning rubber and snow. London is glowing softly by firelight in the distance and it makes her heart ache. London has been dark for such a long time now. She misses the lights, and wonders if she will ever heal enough that she would see them from above one day. The lights will return. London is a survivor like her.

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Shattered

A ball of blazing fire

A shard of broken glass;

All hate and spite and fury

All laughter, smiles and sass.

So big and wild and crazy

So scared, unsure and lost,

You never took the safe route

You never worried at the cost.

Unkind, unforgiving , unruly

Understanding, unfettered, unchained;

You saw both good and bad in me

You loved me just the same.

It seems the world is grey now

It makes me want to scream it,

I want to grab each person

I want to know why they can’t feel it.

A life is lost forever

A life that pulsed and throbbed

I am empty vacant broken

I am shattered by my loss.

All that spirit, grace and beauty

All that anger, hurt and pain

How can you just be no more

How can I ever feel again?

Inside I am a vacant space

Inside I know you’re gone;

I want to let the whole world know

That you were loved, and love lives on.